My dad recently told me, “One day you’ll be 80, and your daughter will be having her baby at 40.”
That one sentence hit me hard.
My dad had me, the youngest of his four children, at 40. I’m now having my daughter at 40.
When he said that to me, I felt awe, love, fear, sadness, and joy, all at once.
- That’s so far away. I’ll be so old…in the last phase of my life.
- My daughter — who isn’t even born yet — will be 40!, a grown, mature adult.
- My dad will be dead, likely for many years at that point. (Sorry, Dad, but I’m starting to think Dave Asprey’s “live to be 180” promise is still a bit of a theory at this point…)
Reminders like this are good for giving us perspective.
What really matters?
I think most of us want to have some impact in the world; we want to leave it a little better in some way.
Charlie Munger spent a lifetime learning, accumulating wealth, sharing wisdom, and giving much of his wealth away. A month before his death at the age of 99, an interviewer asked him what he might want as a brief epitaph. Munger replied: “I tried to be useful.”
To create the impact I want in the world, a psychologist advised me to start with those closest to me. I think that’s a beautiful philosophy.
If you want to help others, start with those closest to you. Your family. Your friends. Your community.
You don’t need to help the whole world. Most of us won’t. You can help someone near you in some way, large or small. All of us can.
Every day is a gift
Our ambitions, wealth, importance, growth, learning, striving, goals — all of it matters, but not as much as we think.
At 80, you’ll care more about who loves you than who envies you.
Let the small things pass.
Smile more.
Give more.
Connect more with now, not some far point in the future for a goal that’s nearly guaranteed not to make you any happier.
Worry less about competing with others who don’t even know you exist and are dealing with their own struggles and doubts.
The ultimate goal
I think our ultimate goal is not to pursue our dream lifestyle, but to pursue our life’s work.
We live each day taking care of and nourishing ourselves, mentally and physically; we take care of those around us; we’re kind to others; we grow, learn, and get a little wiser each day; we do work we find meaningful that contributes to our fellow humans and the planet we all inhabit.
These are a few reminders to myself. I hope you find a few of them useful.
—Matt