My wife is out of town. Something terrible happened last night.
I controlled the TV remote.
Laying on the couch with our dog, I scrolled through page after page of shows and movies. Netflix. Hulu. Amazon.
To choose, is such a commitment. So I scroll more. (My wife hates when I do this.)
“Wait!” I thought.
“I can watch anything I want. What would make me feel the best?”
I Googled “most positive documentaries”. I’d seem them all, except “My Octopus Teacher” (that just sounds ridiculous).
I turned off the TV. I played a bit of free online poker instead.
Most TV shows and movies appeal to our lower impulses.
Violence-heavy shows to men are like drama-focused shows are to women.
It’s easy to see why it’s confusing to select goals and values.
As a white kid in the suburbs, I listened to a lot of rap music.
Rappers, like movie producers, also appeal to our lower impulses.
Greed. Violence. Doing drugs. Selling drugs. Treating women terribly.
Our adult influences aren’t better.
Celebrities and business leaders cheating on their spouses, selling their influence to promote harmful products, and worse.
Your first goal in life is to do what many of these prominent never accomplish: to be a good person.
What does it mean to be a good person?
Late billionaire Charlie Munger advised that many hard problems are best solved backward. “Invert, always invert!” he’d quote Jacobi, the mathematician.
A bad person:
- Lies
- Steals
- Cheats
- Harms others
- Is selfish
Your impact on others is what matters. Is it positive or negative?
If you achieve great wealth or prominence — such as by creating a new technology, scientific breakthrough, or product — you don’t get to be an asshole to people you interact with in your daily life.
Each person matters. One interaction, especially from a person of authority, can change someone’s life. Make it count.
Start with the next person you interact with today. Your spouse. Your kid. Your neighbor. Your local gas station’s cashier.
Can you make their life a little better?
Smile. Be courteous. Hold the door open. Make eye contact. Give them attention and presence.
Repeat, as much as possible, for as many people as possible, in every way possible.
You won’t succeed every time. You’ll forget. You’ll be busy. You’ll be upset.
It’s OK. Start again.
You get to practice being a good person every day for the rest of your life.
You don’t get “do-overs” with people you’ve met in the past; but you get to start again with every new person you meet. It’s an infinite game.
A smile or kind gesture can change someone’s worldview, causing a ripple effect of indeterminable impact.
First, be a good person. Start with who you meet next.
This post is part of a series inspired by Steven Pressfield’s calling question, “What would you do if you had three months left to live?” I’d share what I’ve learned with those I love and anyone who’d listen. Here are all Lessons.